F@CK me already, no, really!

It's state exam time which means I'm slammed at work. I'm also an adjunct professor at FAU this semester, only because I felt the urge to cross off a 'to do' from last year's list. "Write Dr. R and thank her for hiring you last summer, invite summer employment, etc." I didn't expect her to invite me to teach this semester, but how could I say no when I could really use the money and the experience. So I have time to teach teens by day, parent girls by night, teach aspiring teachers (on Tuesday nights-until 10pm, way past my bedtime!) every week, and I'll get up and go as promised, even though right now I feel as sick as a dying dog, and I know I have to do it all over and over again for 16 weeks. Alone! It makes me sad to think I now have no one to take care of me when I'm sick. Adrian always took care of me. I got hour massages 3-4 times a week. A workout he loved and a pleasure that spoiled me right up until the final days. So, I'm down, that's for sure, but I'm also peeved to still be dealing with stolen identity crap.

I do not have time for thieves! Five phones were recently delivered in my maiden name. I only bank in my maiden name. I didn't order any phones. So, what else could it be... then the call comes, private caller, I don't answer. A very distinguished sounding man tells me the order was an error and UPS would be back to pick it up if I could just leave the package outside. Fuck! I wish I answered the phone. I would've been able to tell him off because he didn't identify himself by name or affiliation, and he blocked the call, only a dumb ass crook does that. I'm so glad I'm not a dumb ass.

Again, with my stolen identity. I apparently ordered a large screen TV from some online vendor back in September, and I caught that one because it came in my maiden name too. Hmmmm. Thankfully I write my maiden or hyphenated name on all bank documents because that TV envelope one looked like junk mail and I was about to toss it when I realized the name.

But, what I don't understand is how I could open a Sprint account when I have a fraud alert with everything fucking credit agency. How, how, how? When the cop comes, he tells me someone stole the identities of all the officers at his stations and even his income tax return was cashed because of it. The fucking cops! I asked him isn't there a rule, a mob/cop rule about that!? He laughed and asked 'who' I live with and said he could see that I have kids. I told him there's a rule about those kinds of questions and sent him on his merry way. Plus, I've seen that cop film, the one with Ray Liotta, I think and the long haired lady, (I suck with names). That movie freaked me out; he knew the codes and was above the law. That's another reason I have never and will never date a cop. There's just something not right about a guy who loves a gun. Unless he's a cowboy. Rules for cowboys (see below) make me want to find me a cowboy. And I don't even like country music. But I did meet this guy coming out of my daughters' performing arts studio last year. Apparently he's a pretty famous guy. I just wanted to watch him play and sing because I saw the door open and the music was really loud (it was rehearsal Jake Owen at Round Up). I didn't know who he was because I don't much like country music. But he didn't look country and they were playing Stone Temple Pilots or Metallica, I can't remember, but I know my STP and Metallica, and this was a country bar he was playing in. I'm not big on guys in tight jeans with cowboy boots and hat, or guys that hunt. No thanks. But, if you read over their rules, that my friends, is a mighty fine man. And this cowboy wore surfer shorts and flip flops and by looking at his career, he hunts dreams instead of animals. Hmmm. Next time I'm offered tickets, I'm saying YES! But, that was when A and I were trying to fix each other. I ain't broke. I can tell you that. Neither is he. Together, we are broke. Not apart.

This is a strange, but interesting time for me, nonetheless. Stolen IDentities, Surfer Looking Cowboys, Clueless Cops, Mafia Bosses, and the 10 Commandments.  I'm an original sinner (4, 5, 8 and 10 to be honest). 4/10! Oh my!

The BBC reports that when Italian police searched a Mafia boss' hideout, they found a list of ten rules for proper mafioso etiquette.  

1. No-one can present himself directly to another of our friends. There must be a third person to do it.

2. Never look at the wives of friends.

3. Never be seen with cops.

4. Don't go to pubs and clubs.

5. Always being available for Cosa Nostra is a duty - even if your wife's about to give birth.

6. Appointments must absolutely be respected.

7. Wives must be treated with respect.

8. When asked for any information, the answer must be the truth.

9. Money cannot be appropriated if it belongs to others or to other families.

10. People who can't be part of Cosa Nostra: anyone who has a close relative in the police, anyone with a two-timing relative in the family, anyone who behaves badly and doesn't hold to moral values.

Compare it to Gene Autry's Cowboy Code from 1930.  

1. The Cowboy must never shoot first, hit a smaller man or take an unfair advantage.

2. A Cowboy must never go back on his word, or a trust confided in him.

3. A Cowboy must always tell the truth.

4. A Cowboy must be gentle with children, the elderly and small animals.

5. A Cowboy must not advocate or possess racially or religiously intolerant views and ideas.

6. A Cowboy must help people in distress.

7. A Cowboy must be a good worker.

8. A Cowboy must keep himself clean in thought, speech, action and personal habits.

9. A Cowboy must respect women, parents and his nation's views.

10. A Cowboy is a patriot.

The original Ten Commandments.

1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me  
2. Thou shalt not make for thyself an idol

3. Thou shalt not make wrongful use of the name of thy God

4. Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy

5. Honor thy Father and Mother

6. Thou shalt not murder

7. Thou shalt not commit adultery

8. Thou shalt not steal

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor

10. Thou shalt not covet

P.S. I thank my girlfriends who text and say, 'were you drunk when you wrote that?' because it forces me to go back and reread and edit certain posts. Not that I want to edit the thoughts, but sometimes the grammar is fucked up. Oh, and if you're wondering, I don't really curse in person. I save cursing for close friends and Big occasions. ;) So, if you don't like the cursing, I'm so sorry, but get the fuck off my blog. ;)