bring your own light

I watched this show about the Emperor penguins of Antarctica recently and it got me all choked up. Freaking penguins. The males babysit the egg for months in the harshest conditions while the female hunts for food. I immediately connected to the penguins. I've been the papa penguin and the mama penguin, simultaneously. I feel like I've stepped up for the team with warmth and comfort. I've definitely left the team in search of nourishment. If these penguins can adapt to the harshest elements and employ cooperative behaviors in order to cope, so can we. Right? Love survives. Light brings love. I know what I'd do for my family. I'm proud of my love for them. Despite the feeling that my heart has been played, ignored, burned and broken, I still love. My trouble is, I love the one I'm with. When someone leaves me, I move on, to love the next bird, who cannot fly, but will recognize me by sight and smell and sound and touch and taste.

That's what I know. That's what I saw.

I can completely empathize with the mama penguin who comes home with a mouth full of squid, barely escaping the darkness, to find papa didn't survive the winter. Just as I was thinking the thought, the damn penguin show shows me what happens to the orphaned babies and extra mamas and papas. Sigh. They adopt. They find a new mate. Survival, baby! Gotta live. Gotta hope. Gotta nurture. Gotta survive. Gotta love. Gotta be.

If I know anything about darkness, it's this.

The only way out is through.

and 

You have to bring your own light. 

How Beautiful, Emperor Penguins