bewares the ides of March

This soothsayer just took the whole month of March off. Paid leave. That's right bitches. I'm tired and I want to be a mom for a while. Take a vacation. Go to the beach. Read a book from cover to cover in one day. Right before FCAT. Right before that damn state exam that measures my performance and pays me accordingly. I'll show those stupid fuckers. I have been teaching all year, not just right before, or directly to some stupid multiple choice test; besides, I've already taught them what they need to know by now and I didn't tell them what I was teaching them. I just taught.

In a traditional brick and mortar school, my friends all have to preach and teach to that damn test. They must display their instructional goals on the board, i.e., W.9-10.2., they must all be in the same book, at or around, the same time of the year, and they must put up with non-sense behaviors of adults and children, and they must go to time wasting meetings, and pep rallies to hype up the students, not about the big game, but the test, and I didn't once mention that fucking test this year. Well, if you count making fun of it, then I did. My students will outperform the state and the district. Kiss my big ass FCAT, you big PUSSY you. Now I'll be able say, I didn't even show up the month before, and still...

Pssst! Washington. It doesn't matter what you teach it matters HOW you teach. It doesn't matter how many bodies you have to teach it matters HOW you teach. It doesn't matter what instruction you deliver, virtual or real time, synchronous or asynchronous, it's HOW you deliver and engage and connect that matters. It doesn't matter where you're headed educationally, as long as everyone's making progress, and wants to go where they're headed. We can't and don't measure progress by one stupid fucking exam. Are my students employable, good citizens with good manners and hopefully good grammar when they leave me? I think they are. This stupid test doesn't measure any of that. IMO, when the student is ready, the teacher will come. You can't force kids to perform. It's more like an invitation to travel with you. Why do I have to go THERE their way all the time when I can get there, just on a different road, all on my own. Scope and Sequence is for beginners, Mr. Politician!

It's time to have a little pep rally of my own.....I am THRILLED to take this time off. FREEDOM to do whatever the hell I feel like doing.  Hmmmm, where am I gonna go?.......beware the ides of March. I am getting my turtle tattoo that weekend for sure. I wanted to get it on the 15th, but I'm afraid it'll ruin the wedding  and the bachelorette party in the Keys. I don't want to be bothered by it, or bandaged, or that girl with my shoes off the whole time. Gross. It'll need to be the day after the wedding. Sunday. Sun day. Maybe I should book another night at the hotel.

swinging in the purple

I have this problem with my mouth. It has a mind of its own. It's like Tourette Syndrome, but not as severe. I don't want to shout out obscenities or anything, just cliches, taglines, mottoes, cheers and shit like that. If I hear it in my mind, I have to speak it with my mouth. It's great at sporting events. It's not always helpful at work. I call it clichettes, and it sometimes strikes me at inappropriate times and words are off my tongue and out my mouth before the thought can even complete itself. Like the time my boss (who has a bit of a crush on me, a girl just knows these things) at a work related function introduced his wife and I as 'his wives' to a spouse of new colleague. Most women would likely be silent and not know what to do much less SAY something. I murmured "Mormons" in a voice I didn't recognize as my own until I was giggling and staring at his wife thinking, did he really just say that? Then I can't believe I said that....and I can't believe how I said that. And it just flew out. No substances involved, I swear. Way too sexy for work. Way, way bad because now I keep having dreams about his wife. Not him, but his WIFE. WTF? Now I have to steer clear of him for two reasons, if I talk to him, he'll give me work to do, which is not good and I try to avoid whenever possible, and now I can't help but thinking his wife is a guitar playing, long haired, fair skin, wicked smart, compassionate, good looking, flamenco dancing, hottie. Sister wives is an interesting concept actually, but I'd rather be the man in that scenario. HOLLA!  Just kiddin'. Heehee. In a nutshell, having clichettes is a bitch. It's never boring though.

Now where was I going with this.... ummm... ummm.... I will have to work on this losing my train of thought thing... .it wastes time and I fancy myself to be somewhat of a time snob. As I mentioned earlier, my mouth has a mind of its own. I don't like small talk. I don't like talking to boring or stupid people. I also don't like to spend any time out of my sweet spot, or my zone. Brain researchers call it the zone of proximal development, or zpd. It's that place that exists in a healthy brain where all communication and understanding takes effort, but nothing is too hard, or too easy; overall, it's a good fit. Stress doesn't really exist in the zone. It's a peaceful state to learn in, to work in, and overall get things done in. I use my zpd to decide a ton of shit. Like when work comes calling, and I'm given too much to do by my zpd scale (1 means it will take a little bit of time and cause a little stress, good for the goodness of the planet,  or 10 which is the exact opposite), I deflect it like the eighties girl I am and I 'just say no' and maybe a 'whatever.' For sure, right? ;) I tell my boss to Find someone else. Period. I emphasize the 'F' here and the period, because I like words that start with F. Period. Fun. Fortunate. Fornicate. Formulate. Funky. Fearless. Fabulous........and....Back to the zpd, so I don't care how much you pay me to spend my time, if I don't want to do it, there's no convincing me.

I spend my days, handing out time slots in all genres of my life. Family. Career. Home. Health. In my mind, they're color coded. Red (Family, love is red), green (Career, bring in the green), blue (Home, invites calm), yellow (Health, increase vitality). Those are my primaries. Then there's purple. I like to spend a lot of time in the purple. I have always LOVED purple! Purple is sexy. Purple is royalty, magic and mystery. That's why my new bed set is purple. I found this lovely, demure collection of satin and velour madness, but I've had this rule about new bed-sets. And, well, I had no reason to buy one, or need one. But this one had Big fluffy pillows and teeny tiny ones in shades of eggplant, cream, brown. I have this thing about colors and this other thing, about bed sets. I had to have this particular bed-set! I shopped it down to over 65% off, for over a year at one store, knowing it wouldn't sell at the original price ($45 per tiny pillow and it went up from there)! I shopped it right down to one of a kind left of each item I wanted, got the last king left, all on double coupon madness. I'm in love with this set. And all things purple.

Why? Because, I know color stimulates our mood and I'm in a colorful mood these days. I have my indoor and outdoor hammocks in full swing, finally! I love my friends, my life, my kids, my job. (If I was a slave to my job, I'd quit it. Fortunately, I love what I do and I chose it knowing the pay wasn't great. I've never regretted it). And despite the trials and tribulations of my journey, I'm a happy cat. It's not like it's some secret success formula. It's as easy as ABC's. 


A: If you do what you love, then you'll love what you do. 


B: Spend time with those you love. 


C: Change your bed set when you enter a new relationship. 


Better yet, let me be less obscure and more obvious, never lie with two men on the same bed set. Now if you're a hoe, that could get expensive. Maybe you should consider being less of a hoe. This means you choose who you lie down with, and give your body to, your spirit to, with more care than you do your bed set.

As far as my ideas on what's for the good of the planet, I'll be saving those words for another time because it's time to pull the reins on this ride so I may ride of into my purple world and maybe take a nap made of milk and honey and calm. May the force be with you.