I was raised by ELLE magazine

How does a young girl learn to take care of herself and survive in a house with no mother, two older, stubborn brothers and an old school father? By reading magazines. That's how. When I was about 10, my father thoughtfully subscribed to ELLE magazine for me. I can tell you this, ELLE is not for ten year old girls; I never complained though, I was excited it wasn't some teeny-bopper rag mag full of pictures that I'd get bored with in a day. I didn't understand half the shit I was reading in ELLE, but I managed to figure it out. Just when I'd finish an issue, the next one would come. I never did HW because of ELLE, ever.  I scoured every issue from cover to cover well into my teenage years. The fashion, I skipped mostly. I wanted to know more about the make-up, the hair, the skin care, the articles. I learned about Sanskrit ruins and how to take care of your self from head to toe, all from ELLE magazine.  


Even if ELLE didn't come into my life, I never liked HW, but I loved to read. I read magazines and a lot of the books that my father had read except for scary ones like 'Helter Skelter.' My father is an avid reader and hoards an extensive collection of books. We always had a home-made, cedar library to hold them in. It wasn't rare for us to be left alone in the tween years and one day I climbed the sturdy cedar shelf to see what that big RED book was all about and why was it was turned backward so the spine didn't show and that was my first introduction to sex... THE JOY OF SEX, in full color, bigger than an altas book. The center of the book was a shocker to say the least. I blushed and gasped all the way through that sucker and quickly put it away and turned back to ELLE for the rest of the day. I remember feeling, I am a woman now that I know that. I felt different when my dad came home. No one noticed and believe it or not, I only revisited it maybe two more times my whole life since (he still has it). I feel like I was raised by ELLE with a sprinkling of Oprah, and a heaping of Leo Buscaglia, of course.

It wasn't until I had children of my own, and I had to take care of a very depressed spouse that I learned ELLE had taught me much of what I needed to know to take care of myself which led me to be a good mom, friend and wife. G-d knows I never had an adult family member to lead by example. I craved a female companion and found it in ELLE. Now I have three companions who adore me and think I can do no wrong. I'll keep my super hero status as long as possible. 

Life is too short to live in the gray for any length of time. I've had enough gray. I've been there long enough. I want all the colors. I want all the pieces that I desire and deserve. 


Thanks ELLE for showing me what was possible...

Lucky

We rescued this dog a while back named "Lucky." IMO, any rescue named Lucky should be given a new name because they aren't lucky if they ended up in a rescue. You may as well call a dog Lucifer, or unLucky. This dog was a nightmare. He changed our home for the worse. My motto has always been once a member of the family, always a member of the family, but this guy peed on the beds and barked when ice cubes fell in the ice maker. I tried everything to help him. There was no training this dog and that's coming from a behaviorist. If I can train a cat to pee in the toilet, then I figured I could train a dog to calm his nerves. I couldn't. (I later learned it's in his breed). Lucky drove me insane. He just had to go. I knew the girls were going to freak out when I brought him back, but they got over it and rarely bring up his name unless to admit he was a pain in the ass. They do miss his submissively sweet self.

And that's when the idea came to me. I've been searching for ways to get out my pain using my creativity. I dance. I write. I read. There's more in there, I need to help someone suffering. My problem is I haven't decide if I should write a book for children, adolescents, or adults. I can see a coloring book series for kids coping with crises or maybe a coming of age story about kids coping with divorce called "The D Club." My girls seem to feel Different now. They are in Disbelief. They Don't understand. Having been there myself, I know how they feel. I'll let my creativity lead the way and I know that either way, it's story about a lucky girl who was once unlucky, and the end of the story is a happy one.

I need to know what happened to the dog Lucky. I hope he found an old lady with nothing to do but sit and pet him. He'd bark at an intruder, or an ice cube and she/he'd be happy to have someone to holler at. I'm crossing my fingers he has a happy ending.